Vote for Me!

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The time has come for someone to step up and be the leader this country needs! I would like to announce my candidacy and a simple five point plan to bring prosperity to all:

  1. Millions of felines lack access to basic kibble and water, I will create a Kibble Commission to work on solving this problem immediately. Kibble for all!
  2. We need to work on opening up more birding and squirreling opportunities across the nation. It’s simply not enough to watch a goldfish swim around in 2015.
  3. I will invest into researching how exactly fountains work, where does the water keep coming from? How does it not overflow? These are the questions we need to answer.
  4. Equal rights for all cat-kind. As the first black cat president I would introduce legislation to protect the rights of all felines. Regardless of race or gender, I will ensure that no cat is discriminated against again.
  5. Finally, I will create a task force to finally capture the red dot. It has tormented too many of us for too long to go unpunished.

With these five steps I have a plan to revitalize our nation! Vote for me!

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