The time has come for someone to step up and be the leader this country needs! I would like to announce my candidacy and a simple five point plan to bring prosperity to all:
- Millions of felines lack access to basic kibble and water, I will create a Kibble Commission to work on solving this problem immediately. Kibble for all!
- We need to work on opening up more birding and squirreling opportunities across the nation. It’s simply not enough to watch a goldfish swim around in 2015.
- I will invest into researching how exactly fountains work, where does the water keep coming from? How does it not overflow? These are the questions we need to answer.
- Equal rights for all cat-kind. As the first black cat president I would introduce legislation to protect the rights of all felines. Regardless of race or gender, I will ensure that no cat is discriminated against again.
- Finally, I will create a task force to finally capture the red dot. It has tormented too many of us for too long to go unpunished.
With these five steps I have a plan to revitalize our nation! Vote for me!