I often spend my days dreaming of kibble.
Sometimes I do so while watching the birds,
The very thought of it makes me wiggle.
I’ll try to tell you about it with words.
I love it more than a trip through the tunnel,
But not as much as a warm winter snuggle.
I wish I could eat it all with a funnel,
But only if the feast ended with a cuddle.
I sometimes worry the kibble will not flow,
Or perhaps a squirrel will steal it from me.
Perhaps I will miss it being too slow,
Or they will forget it, drinking their tea
I hear something now; could it be time?
I want some kibble now, maybe with lime!
The time has come for someone to step up and be the leader this country needs! I would like to announce my candidacy and a simple five point plan to bring prosperity to all:
- Millions of felines lack access to basic kibble and water, I will create a Kibble Commission to work on solving this problem immediately. Kibble for all!
- We need to work on opening up more birding and squirreling opportunities across the nation. It’s simply not enough to watch a goldfish swim around in 2015.
- I will invest into researching how exactly fountains work, where does the water keep coming from? How does it not overflow? These are the questions we need to answer.
- Equal rights for all cat-kind. As the first black cat president I would introduce legislation to protect the rights of all felines. Regardless of race or gender, I will ensure that no cat is discriminated against again.
- Finally, I will create a task force to finally capture the red dot. It has tormented too many of us for too long to go unpunished.
With these five steps I have a plan to revitalize our nation! Vote for me!
I cannot remember my last meal… my humans tell me it was “hours” ago, I can only assume this is practically an eternity. All they left me with was the wet food (an obvious trap) and this plant which I pull out in protest.
I can only hope someone hears this plea for kibble before starvation takes me…